The one about singleness

Saturday night, our campus pastor asked me if I would be willing to sit on a panel his wife would be hosting. To talk about singleness.

He and his wife are leading a May-term small group on Love, Sex, and Dating. With no offense to them, I really thought there might be 20 or 25 people in attendance. So I agreed. 

Robin sent over a few questions she planned to ask the panelists which gave us good direction to gather our thoughts, put some notes together, and come prepared. Sunday morning I was enjoying a full day of rest... you know the kind. NOTHING on the agenda. No plans. No responsibility. No commitments. The only thing I had to do was to stay in my pj's, drink copious amounts of coffee, and read a book. (Oh wait. You only know these kinds of days if you're single. Forgive me.) 

I was in my oversized chair with my journal, bible, a cup of coffee. (And my cell phone....because, honesty.) I started taking some notes and quickly realized that I have a LOT to share on this subject. I'd never publicly talked about my {FreakingForeverLong} season of singleness. Just with good friends. Only with people who care about me and who have offered to dive into that tender subject with me.

Pages and pages of notes later, I realize I could teach a 6-part sermon series with as much as I'd written down. And I was going to be on a panel. Answering a few questions. And I was relieved. While there might be a lot I could share on the topic, I didn't know if I was quite ready. Singleness is a sensitive subject. I truly believe one should speak about singleness and to singles the same way you would speak to someone dealing with infertility. It's something they want badly- and for whatever reason- can't have. Speak with care, concern, sensitive tone, etc. Infertility isn't a joking matter for a mom desperate for a baby. In the same way- singleness isn't a joking matter to those of us who are single. While we may pass it off jokingly in attempts to deal with it ourselves... the laughs or jokes are a cover. 

As we were setting up the room, we put about 25 chairs out and said "eh, if we need to set up more, we can do that." 

Guys. That was a JOKE. We needed a LOT more chairs. As people kept pouring into the room I needed to pick my jaw up off the ground. This suddenly became no longer a small little panel of a few people I'd be talking about this subject with- but a room full of almost 100 young adults who actually WANTED to come and learn more about how to navigate this subject as a follower of Christ. 

I've said many times before, give me a microphone and I can sing with ease in front of thousands of people. But ask me to speak and I am NO good. I get so nervous. But last night. It was different. There were no nerves. I told my sister "maybe it's because it's an area I'm actually an expert in." HA. But seriously. I can speak on the subject with ease, without fear because I've learned how to be single. And quite honestly, I'm pretty good at it. This in NO way means I don't want to get married {cause i do!} but it's a subject matter I'm well versed in. 

I'm grateful for the opportunity I was given to share a piece of my heart with others who are in the same season, to hopefully encourage someone and remind them that while singleness can indeed feel lonely, they are certainly not alone.