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The one with the tension

 The tension. 

We all live in it-- every day. The tension of holding joy and holding pain. We can't escape it. But the way it shows up in our lives is different. We meet some people and immediately know the pain is taking over. We meet some and quickly see more joy-- and wonder how in the world their life can be so bright when the world is in so much chaos. But it's important to note that EVERYONE has the tension. Everyone has pockets of pain. Everyone has pockets of joy. How they are reflected is different. 

I recognize the way I show up probably leans more toward the "bright side"-- and I wonder if that does a disservice to some on the periphery. I had a conversation with a newish friend and shared a bit of my heartache. She appeared to be caught off guard. Her response was, "I just had no idea. You seem so full of light all the time." 

Do people see the bright side and make assumptions? Maybe people don't check in because they think all is well. We are more quick to check in on people who carry their pain in a more visible way. We are able to put up a front, especially on social media, that doesn't truly reflect the way our life is going. 

I like to think I'm pretty transparent about my life, but I know I don't have the perfect balance. 

I've carried a lot of pain the past six months. But have also had immense joy. Maybe someone needs to hear that. 

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