Mary Poppins Wasn't Perfect

One year ago today, I wrote in my journal: "the weary world rejoices..." I'm ready for some rejoicing.  It has been a sad and dark time. You are not unaware. I have to believe you see me here. And this wasn't even the saddest of posts. That would come a week later.  It's wild to me that one year later I've found a season of rejoicing. Not wild because I didn't think it would happen. But wild because it's nothing like I prayed for. It looks different than I could have ever dreamed up. No, not everything is magically better. Life is still hard. Prayers are still left unanswered. Questions remain. But He brought me into a spacious place.  "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters/// He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because delighted in me."  Psalm 18:16, 19

I had an interesting weekend. Lots of feelings and emotions swirling. And for the record, I hate feeling emotional for myself. HATE IT. Feeling emotional for others or on behalf of someone else? I'm all in. But for me? Ugh.  I wanted to message Jaryn last night to tell her about it, but I refrained from doing so because I feel like maybe I've become too needy of a friend. I've had a LOT of things happen in my life this year. Really big things. Lots of good things. And all of those things, Jaryn has been along for the ride. Sometimes physically IN PERSON with me, and most often via FaceTime or Google Chat. She knows all the things.  And last night, when I was all up in my emotions, I convinced myself that Jaryn probably didn't need an emotional Minda and decided to go to bed instead of reach out to my friend. I didn't want to be a needy friend or be an emotional drain.  (To be clear, Jaryn has never made me feel like this.... this was just me making crap up.) This mo...

I know this will come as a surprise to some of you, but when it comes to music, I don’t know a lot. I can hear a song and it be familiar, but I won’t be able to tell you who the artist is or when it came out. I probably won’t know many lyrics. Sure, I can sing and play piano, but that’s about where my musical ability ends. It’s embarrassing, almost. I feel this pressure to know more music than I do. But here is a secret. I’m a one song kind of gal. If I like a song, I will listen to it on repeat. For hours, days, months on end. Now, clearly I can live this way because I’m single. I wouldn’t subject anyone else to this way of life. But while I’m single? It’s what I do. November 2020 was spent walking. Every day. I would bundle up (because Michigan), put in my air pods, and go for walks while listening to one song on repeat. On November 6, I’d just left my apartment to start a walk when Tim messaged and said, “Have you heard this song yet?” I hadn’t. So I hit play. And then I hit repeat...

My neighbors were moving.  This news was not surprising but it was becoming a reality. I knew this was the next step for Meghan and Maya. But I didn't want it to happen so soon.  When I moved to Michigan, the first 9 months were spent looking for homes. I put in six offers (and was beat out on all of them) before deciding to just move into the new apartment complex that was being built across the street.  On move in day, I met Meghan and Maya. The dynamic duo lived right across the hall from me-- two steps from my door. I'd been hoping for a really good looking single guy in this 30's to be the neighbor, but this was a VERY good second option.  Maya was 10 and wanted to be my friend. She'd stand behind her door when she heard me coming or going. Then she'd open and say "hi!" I began to anticipate her greeting every time I came home or left. It was the best.  One weekend her mom was headed out of town and Maya was gonna stay with her grandparents. Maya begg...

 It's been a while. 3.5 years, actually.  And I've been itching to write. So here I am.  The last time I wrote, I was 7 months into my Michigan time and it was hard. But I wasn't scared. The challenge didn't scare me. Michigan was the right move-- I never doubted that-- not for a second. But it was a hard move for me. There was never a year that was easy while in Michigan. I had lovely times and there were bright spots, for sure. But Michigan wasn't home, as much as I tried to make it be.  And then a pandemic hit. And then I needed knee surgery. Followed by another surgery three months later. While living alone.  I won't go into the details of just how hard the year was for the purposes of this post... maybe another time.  But I will say, October 2020 was the beginning of the end for me in Michigan. I was not the Minda you know. I was not myself. I was so alone. I didn't like the person I had become and I didn't know how to change things. Until December...