Mary Poppins Wasn't Perfect

This story actually starts much earlier, but for the purposes of where I’m at today, we’ll start with Day 0 or Day 1 in Denmark. I might get around to telling you the full story at another point in time. Let’s see where this takes us. I wasn’t supposed to be on the plane August 7. Well, I was. But I wasn’t. It was a wild guess. An estimation of when I thought it might happen. I needed to buy a roundtrip ticket instead of one way after my last visit, and I projected out and decided August 7 would be a good day to fly back to Denmark, for good. For home. The paperwork was being completed on the US side, albeit very slowly, and I felt hopeful August 7 would still be in play. Then I visited the VFS office in Washington DC for my biometrics appointment on July 31. They took my passport. That wasn’t in the plans. I’d been told I didn’t have to give it to them. But they insisted. I told them I needed it for a flight on the 7th and they said “10–17 days is when you should expect it back.” Woo...

A friend recently sent a note and said "I need you to revive your Mary Poppins blog." It's been a while, hasn't it? Hello, old friend. It's me. Minda. Let's back track a bit, shall we? Most of you know I grew up in Texas. Texas was my home for 27 years before I left and made a home in Florida. And y’all know what happened there. 🔥  (no, really. For those who don’t know, my place burned down) Then I made my way to DC where I made a home for 5 years. Michigan came next. Michigan was the job I needed and wanted but the place I didn’t want to be. But did I make it work? You betcha. I made a home there, found community, and dove in. I gave it 110%. Then a pandemic hit. When you’re in a place that doesn’t really feel like home, you start to crave ‘home.’ But where was home for me? I know the feeling of home, but I didn’t know the location of home. I’d begun to convince myself that no place would ever be home this side of heaven. Maybe that’s just the way it is. I p...

A guy on TikTok (Sam Fischer) posted a song called Carry It Well . I'd been hearing snippets of the song and found myself listening on repeat.  The lyrics: Just because I carry it well doesn't mean it isn't heavy and i don't need some help I know I keep it locked down, but all I want now  is somebody who can tell me how it's gonna work out.  I saw news of a celebrity who took his own life last week. To say I was shocked was an understatement. From the picture painted across his social media, this guy radiated joy. He seemed like the guy who had truly found happiness and was doing ok. But in reality, that just meant he carried his pain "well." What does that mean? To carry your pain well?  I'm guessing it actually means we hide it. And I'm not sure that is considered carrying it well.  The fact this song has more than 2 million views leads me to believe others are wrestling this season. I may not be able to tell you how it's all going to work ou...

 The tension.  We all live in it-- every day. The tension of holding joy and holding pain. We can't escape it. But the way it shows up in our lives is different. We meet some people and immediately know the pain is taking over. We meet some and quickly see more joy-- and wonder how in the world their life can be so bright when the world is in so much chaos. But it's important to note that EVERYONE has the tension. Everyone has pockets of pain. Everyone has pockets of joy. How they are reflected is different.  I recognize the way I show up probably leans more toward the "bright side"-- and I wonder if that does a disservice to some on the periphery. I had a conversation with a newish friend and shared a bit of my heartache. She appeared to be caught off guard. Her response was, "I just had no idea. You seem so full of light all the time."  Do people see the bright side and make assumptions? Maybe people don't check in because they think all is well. We ar...

 On May 1 I celebrated one year in Charlotte. Here's part 5 of my #MindaPoppins adventure. 

Greenville was the next stop after Seattle. I'd actually thought Greenville would be the final stop in this adventure. I thought I'd visit a few more places, but had anticipated coming back to Greenville. So much that I even started looking at homes in the area. I was 25 minutes away from family, 50 minutes away from the lake, and it seemed like the most logical landing place for me. When I recorded this video, I didn't know what was coming next. I'd begun to toss out the ideas of Florida next, but I didn't have a plan in place and felt a twinge of anxiousness. I wasn't nervous; I knew the plan would come together. But there were no next steps in place. 

Social media is a strange place. We know this. I'm not telling you anything new. And while some of you think I live my entire life online, that's actually not the truth. There are a LOT of pieces of me that stay offline. Three years ago I was getting through the biggest heartache/breakup I'd experienced to that point. And most of you never knew I'd even had a boyfriend to cause such heartache. Because I'd kept that offline. I never posted about my boyfriend on social media. Sure, my close friends knew about him, but outside of that, it was a part of my life I'd kept offline. I WANTED to share about him-- and was trying to decide the right time to share-- but it fell apart before I got the chance.  And then I found myself processing heartbreak offline as well. How could I talk about the heartache I was processing when I'd never even told anyone online there was a boyfriend to begin with? My close friends who knew the details showed up in a really big way-- to...

  If DC was the perfect first stop on the Minda Poppins adventures, Washington state was the perfect second step. I felt loved and cared for and it was a bit overwhelming. I'm grateful for this stop and also so glad I recorded this video to get the very fresh emotions/feelings captured. 

February 2021 went faster than I could have anticipated. I was in a good space with my people surrounding me. But I knew packing up my things and hitting the road was the easy part. I still had to make plans for the next leg of the journey. I didn't have a home to go back to. I was REALLY doing this thing. Living month to month with adventure awaiting. This is part 2 of the 5 part video series. Enjoy. 

I use an app called Timehop. It's an old app and I have friends who make fun of the fact that I still open the app EVERY SINGLE DAY. 1360 days in a row, to be exact. Most days, it's a fun look back at my 'day in history' moments.  And then days like today it's not a good look back. It reminds me of one of the most painful days. A day in which my heart experienced pain like I hope to never experience again.  But as a human--- the chances of having my heart broken again are pretty high. I was just really fortunate to not have it happen like this til I was in my 30's.  I opened the app and saw images/screenshots of text messages that were sent and received ending a relationship.  The days/weeks/months that followed were so painful, but my friends rallied around me-- those who lived near me-- and those who lived far away.  That's a consistent part of my story. I have friends that rally. While today isn't a day I'd particularly like to remember, I'm c...

  Fun fact: I made sure to video blog about my adventures in 2021-- as I wanted to SEE-- not just read-- the difference in me over the course of the adventure. I will start to share a few of those here. Felt fitting to share this first one on the anniversary of my Michigan departure. To note, these were originally going to just be for my own viewing pleasure. They were not done with the intent of showing anyone. So my editing skills were a bit janky. Apologies for that. :) 

This month, my Grandpa Corso turned 95 and Jody turned 92. Quick side note: when my sister and I were born, Jody felt she was too young to be a grandmother (at age 53) and wanted us to call her by her first name-- hence 'Jody and Grandpa.' Upon the arrival of more grandchildren, she evidently felt it was time and became known as 'Grams' to the rest of the grandkids. But to me--- she's my Jody. November took a turn for our family as we needed to get additional assistance for Grandpa—he and Jody had been living in their own home doing just fine, thriving in their 90’s. But there comes a point. And we reached that point. It was a bit of a shakeup for us as it's hard to come to grips with change like this-- especially when the memory of one is gone and no longer knows you as a wife, son, grandchild. Initially, Jody felt a sense of relief-- as the woman had needed a break. But one week in, she realized more than the break, she needed him. She needed the comfort and p...

We had snow this weekend. It was lovely and fluffy and made my winter-loving heart very happy. On Saturday morning, a friend who lives 25 minutes away text and mentioned how she wished we lived closer. I told her: "Lest you think I'm cozied up with coffee and blankets and pancakes, this is what I'm doing." And proceeded to text her a photo of me leaving the gym.  I had just left Orange Theory and was outside in 25 degree weather, in a tank top, and tried to quickly (and discreetly) snap a selfie to send to my friend.  Except as I snapped the photo, I heard, "Girl, you killed that workout. Way to make it happen in the snow! Document that shit!" At first, I felt the shame of being caught taking the selfie, and then their words registered. They weren't selfie shaming me. They were CHEERING for me.  I was struck by a few emotions immediately after this encounter. The first being genuine happiness. I had the biggest grin on my face and their comments put a pe...

Yesterday was a mile marker for me.  One year ago, I was inside my favorite little coffee shop in Kalamazoo. I'd left the surgeon's office having been cleared to start running again post knee surgery and stopped to get my favorite drink. The look I was given by my gal Allison clued me into the fact that something was amiss.  It was December 2020. My neighbors had moved. My office had announced we'd be staying home at least another six months, and I was about to learn my favorite coffee shop was closing their doors. That was the final straw. I knew I needed to make a change. I was at the end of my rope and I could either suck it up and keep struggling, or I could make a change. I got in my car, called my apartment complex and said, "Aside from the inordinate amount of money it costs to break a lease, what else do I need to know? How much of a notice do you need?" They said 45 days. I responded, "What is 45 days from right now?" They said, "January 31...

One year ago today, I wrote in my journal: "the weary world rejoices..." I'm ready for some rejoicing.  It has been a sad and dark time. You are not unaware. I have to believe you see me here. And this wasn't even the saddest of posts. That would come a week later.  It's wild to me that one year later I've found a season of rejoicing. Not wild because I didn't think it would happen. But wild because it's nothing like I prayed for. It looks different than I could have ever dreamed up. No, not everything is magically better. Life is still hard. Prayers are still left unanswered. Questions remain. But He brought me into a spacious place.  "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters/// He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because delighted in me."  Psalm 18:16, 19

I had an interesting weekend. Lots of feelings and emotions swirling. And for the record, I hate feeling emotional for myself. HATE IT. Feeling emotional for others or on behalf of someone else? I'm all in. But for me? Ugh.  I wanted to message Jaryn last night to tell her about it, but I refrained from doing so because I feel like maybe I've become too needy of a friend. I've had a LOT of things happen in my life this year. Really big things. Lots of good things. And all of those things, Jaryn has been along for the ride. Sometimes physically IN PERSON with me, and most often via FaceTime or Google Chat. She knows all the things.  And last night, when I was all up in my emotions, I convinced myself that Jaryn probably didn't need an emotional Minda and decided to go to bed instead of reach out to my friend. I didn't want to be a needy friend or be an emotional drain.  (To be clear, Jaryn has never made me feel like this.... this was just me making crap up.) This mo...

I know this will come as a surprise to some of you, but when it comes to music, I don’t know a lot. I can hear a song and it be familiar, but I won’t be able to tell you who the artist is or when it came out. I probably won’t know many lyrics. Sure, I can sing and play piano, but that’s about where my musical ability ends. It’s embarrassing, almost. I feel this pressure to know more music than I do. But here is a secret. I’m a one song kind of gal. If I like a song, I will listen to it on repeat. For hours, days, months on end. Now, clearly I can live this way because I’m single. I wouldn’t subject anyone else to this way of life. But while I’m single? It’s what I do. November 2020 was spent walking. Every day. I would bundle up (because Michigan), put in my air pods, and go for walks while listening to one song on repeat. On November 6, I’d just left my apartment to start a walk when Tim messaged and said, “Have you heard this song yet?” I hadn’t. So I hit play. And then I hit repeat...

My neighbors were moving.  This news was not surprising but it was becoming a reality. I knew this was the next step for Meghan and Maya. But I didn't want it to happen so soon.  When I moved to Michigan, the first 9 months were spent looking for homes. I put in six offers (and was beat out on all of them) before deciding to just move into the new apartment complex that was being built across the street.  On move in day, I met Meghan and Maya. The dynamic duo lived right across the hall from me-- two steps from my door. I'd been hoping for a really good looking single guy in this 30's to be the neighbor, but this was a VERY good second option.  Maya was 10 and wanted to be my friend. She'd stand behind her door when she heard me coming or going. Then she'd open and say "hi!" I began to anticipate her greeting every time I came home or left. It was the best.  One weekend her mom was headed out of town and Maya was gonna stay with her grandparents. Maya begg...

 It's been a while. 3.5 years, actually.  And I've been itching to write. So here I am.  The last time I wrote, I was 7 months into my Michigan time and it was hard. But I wasn't scared. The challenge didn't scare me. Michigan was the right move-- I never doubted that-- not for a second. But it was a hard move for me. There was never a year that was easy while in Michigan. I had lovely times and there were bright spots, for sure. But Michigan wasn't home, as much as I tried to make it be.  And then a pandemic hit. And then I needed knee surgery. Followed by another surgery three months later. While living alone.  I won't go into the details of just how hard the year was for the purposes of this post... maybe another time.  But I will say, October 2020 was the beginning of the end for me in Michigan. I was not the Minda you know. I was not myself. I was so alone. I didn't like the person I had become and I didn't know how to change things. Until December...

Moving to a new city is not for the faint of heart. Moving to a new city as a single adult is for SURE not for the faint of heart. I've not written over here on this blog that much. I moved 7.5 months ago to Kalamazoo, Michigan and it has been as I expected. I expected it to be hard, and it has been. Similar to marriage, I think people often go into a huge life change like this thinking it will be amazing and adventurous; they assume it will be thrilling and fun. Those are not words I would use to describe moving to a new city. My words are as follows: hard lonely tricky boring disappointing Lest you think I'm "Miserable in Michigan"...let me assure you: I am not.  But I've not written over here for fear that my friends would think I'm miserable and lonely and made a huge mistake by coming. Because the first six months could be described in those words listed above.  But. I expected those things. I was not taken off guard or surpris...