You know the feeling.
There are things we do that are easy for us. There are things that require no stretching. No challenge. No thought. We are all gifted in different areas. And most often- once we've been operating in our gifting for quite some time- it comes with ease.
And then there are times we are yanked out of our comfort zone.
I love to sing. Most of you know this about me. I've been singing for as long as I can remember- and probably even before that! I've sung in front of hundreds, even tens of thousands, of people before.
Being a part of a worship team at church is something I've done since high school. I love it. When I'm leading a congregation in worship, I am at ease. Not because I can sing well, but because I'm comfortable singing in front of people.
If I were not comfortable, I would have a hard time leading others in worship. It would be too easy for me to be focused on other issues to truly allow myself to enter in to worship.
There are a whole lotta other things that go along with leading others in worship (because it is NOT just singing)- but for the sake of this post- I'll leave it at that.
Let's say you like to sing. And you can carry a tune- for the most part. You are one of those 'sing in the shower' or 'sing at the stop light' kind of people. You know. The ones who sing just because it makes them happy. Not necessarily for others to benefit.
Well. That is how I feel about my piano playing.
I know the notes. I can somewhat play a song. I really play cause it makes me happy- and not for the benefit of anyone other than me and Jesus. And honestly- if I play AND sing- it's kinda disastrous. No joke. I can play somewhat decently if I'm not singing. But add singing to the mix and it's almost always a nightmare- BUT. That has always been ok for me- because no one other than Jesus has to listen. (Aside from my roommates that have lived with me in the past, God bless 'em!)
But. Tomorrow, I'll be playing at church. And not just playing the piano, but singing as well- WHILE playing.
I won't get into detail about how THAT came to happen, but. I'll say this. I'm nervous as all get out.
About a month ago- I played the keyboard at church (no singing- just playing!) and I made the guys who were setting up- I made them place me BEHIND the curtain. I wish I was joking. That's how nervous I was. I didn't want anyone to see me. And the Saturday night BEFORE playing the keyboard...? Oh yeah. I spent 3 hours on the bathroom floor next to the toilet as I was puking my guts up out of nervousness. (pardon the crass mental picture I just gave you.) But yes. That was just PLAYING the piano.
So. Tomorrow. Not only will I be playing- but I'll be singing at the same time. WHILE trying to lead others in worship.
So, if you read this blog post between tonight and tomorrow morning- would you please say a prayer for me? It's only 6pm and I'm already feeling the nerves.
I promise you this is not some sort of false humility or anything. I know my limits. I know where my comfort zone ends and where it ends. I'm not only on the edge of my comfort zone- I'm 20 miles from it.
But I'm also willing to do what needs to be done. Which is the only reason I'm in this position.