78 days ago, my other apartment in Tallahassee burned down.
78 days in and it's finally becoming a reality.
I've not talked much about how I felt this last week out of fear that I would sound ungrateful for the amount of support I was given in the weeks after the fire. Seriously.
You people are freaking amazing. I still can't get over it.
But I'd not talked much about how I felt. Until last night. When I posted on Facebook.
**Side note: My mom calls me a 'life caster.' I broadcast my life via social media. She says she doesn't mean it as a bad thing- but there are times in which I know it's not good.**
Last night was tough. And I probably shouldn't have posted. But I did. And here's what I wrote:
Buying fresh flowers from street vendor in attempts to make this day better. The only music/docs I had after fire were on my phone. Everything else was on computer which burned. When I synced phone to new computer today- lost pretty much the rest. Can I cry about that?
I know it's not a huge deal-and let's be honest. The only music I'd had on my phone during that time was my Christmas music. All the other music I'd taken off my computer to make room in phone storage. So I'd already lost the majority of my music. But last night was the last bit. And it stunk. And on top of that- I was headed to my apartment which has yet to become 'home.'
Now that I've been in my apartment for a month, I have new furniture with only a few things left to get. That's amazing. And that is thanks to so many of you who made that possible.
The part that wears me out now is decorating.
I'm not one who likes living in an empty shell. And until my place is decorated- their is no warm cozy feeling upon entering my place. And I need warm and cozy STAT. If you ever visited my other apartments- you know that warm and cozy is my thing. Homey. Feels good.
Every time I go look for decor pieces, I think about the things I previously had....and then I think about why I liked them so much! And then I wish I had them again. And there you have it.
I think we all thought making the big purchases would be the hardest for me.
Who knew buying the accent pieces would be the most difficult?! I sure didn't.
So last night, I did stop and buy flowers on my way home. And I made homemade soup.
It will get there. I know.
But some days I'm just really sad that my place burned down.
And I need that to be ok.