The one about Hailey

Hailey Morgan Barr.

We were an unlikely match. Everyone knew it. We ourselves knew it. When people heard Hailey and I were going to be roommates, their response was most often " and Hailey Morgan?!?" Hailey was all sass. I was boring. Hailey was the life of a party. I just hosted the party. :)

My roommate was getting married (shocker!). I needed a new roommate. Hailey needed a roommate. We made it happen.

We took a couple of days to get moved in, but our first official day as roommates just so happened to be the same night our good friend Laura was getting engaged. We had unloaded boxes all day (in the middle of the Texas summer) and were heading to the engagement party that night. Needless to say- showers were needed. We were rummaging through boxes trying to find clothes, shoes, and other things needed to show up decent to the engagement party when Hailey decided she was hungry and thought she'd have enough time to cook and eat dinner. She had a box of spaghetti and put it on the stove. She quickly realized our time had run out and we HAD to get out the door and over to Dallas. Hailey pours the half cooked spaghetti into a bowl, grabs her keys, and says "Let's go." She proceeds to drive us to Dallas, while eating the spaghetti, AND blasting Beyonce in the car. Singing and dancing were involved. 

That was my first day as Hailey's roommate.

The next 364 days were just as exciting and hilarious. Some good, some crazy, some sweet, and some hard.

Hailey and I had both just come from difficult seasons in life. June '09-June '10 was a tough year for each of us. And while our situations were completely different, this is where we found our common ground. We pledged to each other that we would make the next year a good year. A restful year.

And we did. Hailey and I spent plenty of evenings curled up on that brown couch of mine. I would cook dinner, she would provide the chocolate. And our conversations were rarely ever surface level. Hailey never settled for the 'easy way out' answer. If she asked you how your day was, 'good' would not suffice. She wanted to know why it was good, what had happened that made it good, and what could have made it better. She was always interested in the condition of my heart. And after our converstaion, she would then remind me how much Jesus loved me and how good His plans were for our lives. She reminded me of my worth.

Hailey was quite the encourager. I never left a serious conversation with her in which she had not spoken words of encouragement to me. She would leave notes on the kitchen counter, voicemails, or random gifts. If you were talking to Hailey- you most likely walked away feeling like a million bucks. And maybe walking away with a little more sass than you started with.

Ever heard me use the phrase "Hey gurl hayyy!"? That's because of Hailey. Ever hear me say "I'm off to get my hair did"? That's because of Hailey. I'm not kidding, y'all. This girl inspired sass. Especially in THIS girl (me!) who had none.

One night she was making dinner (a chicken pot pie) and while in the kitchen, she says "It says I have to put the 2nd pie crust on top of the dish...But I don't know how to do that!" In the living room, I said "What do you mean? Just put it on top and seal the edges."  She said "I don't get it. This doesn't look right. Do I put it in the oven like this?" I got up and came into the kitchen to find this:
Hailey's Chicken Pot Pie
Homegirl had bought two premade piecrusts already in the foil pans (rather than the roll out kind.) She read the recipe which said to put the second crust on top of the pie. This is how she did it. It took every ounce of energy to not bust out laughing. I explained how to fix it and she stuck it in the oven. Life with Hailey kept me on my toes and kept me laughing. Oh, and the day she came home and announced to me: I'm going to learn how to play the harmonica! I'm serious. Don't laugh.

Yup. That's Hailey. :-)

When we moved in together, Hailey was not dating anyone. There was no one on her radar. NO ONE. And then. Three months later, she's talking about this guy Matthew. She's coming home from dinner parties with Matthew. She is coming home from rock climbing with Matthew. And she is glowing.

Long story semi-short- Hailey knew he was the one. Matthew pursued her the way any guy in his right mind should pursue a girl he's interested in. And come March, Matthew asked her to be his wife. Two months later? Our lease was ending and Hailey and Matthew were getting married.

The two of them were married and on their way to the Philippines where they would begin their marriage and their ministry.

Hailey and Matthew were better together. They pursued Jesus with more passion than most people I've ever known. They were obedient. If Jesus asked something of them, they said yes. They lived with purpose. They loved. And they loved well.

Hailey and Matthew. Your loss is deeply felt here on earth. We will make sure your life story is not forgotten. While you lived, your impact was large. In your death, it's gone beyond what anyone could have imagined.

Psalm 19:7-11 (paraphrase)
"The laws of the Lord are perfect, trustworthy, right, radiant, pure, and they are sure. They revive the soul, they give wisdom, joy, light, and they endure forever. In keeping these laws, there is great reward." 

HE is our great reward. Enjoy your reward, my friends.


  1. Love you Minda, thanks for writing and sharing this. I read the article about this tragic accident, and although I didn't know Hailey, was devastated to read it as thought of your love for her. At the time, it seemed Matthew may have been continuing to fight his injuries at the hospital-- it seems from this that he also went on to be with his wife, together with our God. I am grateful to have learned about their ministry and their incredible joy. I pray you have peace during this challenging time.

  2. THanks Meighan. appreciate that so much. They were an amazing couple.


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