Skip to main content

The one about singleness

Saturday night, our campus pastor asked me if I would be willing to sit on a panel his wife would be hosting. To talk about singleness.

He and his wife are leading a May-term small group on Love, Sex, and Dating. With no offense to them, I really thought there might be 20 or 25 people in attendance. So I agreed. 

Robin sent over a few questions she planned to ask the panelists which gave us good direction to gather our thoughts, put some notes together, and come prepared. Sunday morning I was enjoying a full day of rest... you know the kind. NOTHING on the agenda. No plans. No responsibility. No commitments. The only thing I had to do was to stay in my pj's, drink copious amounts of coffee, and read a book. (Oh wait. You only know these kinds of days if you're single. Forgive me.) 

I was in my oversized chair with my journal, bible, a cup of coffee. (And my cell phone....because, honesty.) I started taking some notes and quickly realized that I have a LOT to share on this subject. I'd never publicly talked about my {FreakingForeverLong} season of singleness. Just with good friends. Only with people who care about me and who have offered to dive into that tender subject with me.

Pages and pages of notes later, I realize I could teach a 6-part sermon series with as much as I'd written down. And I was going to be on a panel. Answering a few questions. And I was relieved. While there might be a lot I could share on the topic, I didn't know if I was quite ready. Singleness is a sensitive subject. I truly believe one should speak about singleness and to singles the same way you would speak to someone dealing with infertility. It's something they want badly- and for whatever reason- can't have. Speak with care, concern, sensitive tone, etc. Infertility isn't a joking matter for a mom desperate for a baby. In the same way- singleness isn't a joking matter to those of us who are single. While we may pass it off jokingly in attempts to deal with it ourselves... the laughs or jokes are a cover. 

As we were setting up the room, we put about 25 chairs out and said "eh, if we need to set up more, we can do that." 

Guys. That was a JOKE. We needed a LOT more chairs. As people kept pouring into the room I needed to pick my jaw up off the ground. This suddenly became no longer a small little panel of a few people I'd be talking about this subject with- but a room full of almost 100 young adults who actually WANTED to come and learn more about how to navigate this subject as a follower of Christ. 

I've said many times before, give me a microphone and I can sing with ease in front of thousands of people. But ask me to speak and I am NO good. I get so nervous. But last night. It was different. There were no nerves. I told my sister "maybe it's because it's an area I'm actually an expert in." HA. But seriously. I can speak on the subject with ease, without fear because I've learned how to be single. And quite honestly, I'm pretty good at it. This in NO way means I don't want to get married {cause i do!} but it's a subject matter I'm well versed in. 

I'm grateful for the opportunity I was given to share a piece of my heart with others who are in the same season, to hopefully encourage someone and remind them that while singleness can indeed feel lonely, they are certainly not alone.


Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. YES! Love this! Now i want to know moreeeee.... Was it recorded, or will you write more here?!! I want to hear about your 6 part series!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ten. Years.

Grew up in a small town - And when the rain would fall down - I'd just stare out my window - Dreaming of what could be - And if I'd end up happy - I would pray Trying hard to reach out - But when I tried to speak out - Felt like no one could hear me - Wanted to belong here - But something felt so wrong here - So I prayed I could break away I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly - I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky - I'll make a wish - Take a chance - Make a change - And breakaway - Out of the darkness and into the sun - But I won't forget all the ones that I love - I'll take a risk - Take a chance - Make a change - And breakaway ( Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway ) 10 years ago, this month, I graduated from Prairiland High School. (And yes, I spelled that right- according to our school, anyways.) At times I can't really wrap my mind around that particular thought...Then at other times, it feels as though it could have been 20

Saturday Morning

I have a play list on my iPod titled "Saturday Morning Cleaning." When my sisters and I were growing up, Saturday morning was spent cleaning. No questions asked. Bottom line. Purple suit and all. Oh wait. You don't know about the purple suit. I'll explain further down. We'd get to sleep in until mom and dad deemed enough, at which point they would turn on the stereo system and play praise and worship music and come wake us up. Mom or dad would have cooked us a breakfast of either pancakes, eggs, waffles, bacon, or breakfast tacos (a treat, considering M-F was normally cereal, oatmeal, etc) and on the table would be "The List" Sometimes we'd get "The List" before breakfast and sometimes after. Because, really....who wants to ruin a perfectly good breakfast with "The List." (I have to interject, even as I'm writing this...I'm just remembering how incredible my childhood was. Seriously. I had the best childhood a

Opening a Conversation

I'd like to open a conversation with you. I've read 2 articles recently that have got me thinking. And a blog is one way to open a conversation that invites response, yes? So here goes. If you leave a comment- make sure to click the button that says "email follow up responses" so you can stay part of the convo. (I know, blogspot needs to get better about this, but for now- just click the box.) Here is article number 1: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/digital-issue/53?page=66 Here is article number 2: http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/27/why-young-christians-arent-waiting-anymore/ There is a new show coming up on TLC called something like "The Virgin Diaries" or something. I have to say. I've watched the preview clips and it is mortifying and embarrassing. If I were 15 and watching- I'd say "Find me the closest guy and let's get it on!" in attempts to not let that be my story. They have made the clips downright horrifyi